This has been an up and down kind of week

I found good homes for all three of the kittens I was fostering. The fluffy boy was the last to go; he was so afraid of people and presented a challenge nobody was willing to take on until my new friend Amanda came along. She and her husband operate a Pit Bull rescue and are used to frightened souls who need to be loved. I call her my new friend; honestly, I don't know if we'll ever talk again, but she touched me deeply and so I will always consider her a friend.

Early this week, I reneged on my vow to never go on another blind date again and ended up having a great time. We had a lot in common and laughed a lot, which was pretty awesome, but he didn't call for several days after. I was bummed but figured he wasn't interested so I just forgot about him. Then on Friday he called me at friggin' midnight! I was sleeping and have a 10 o'clock telephone cut-off rule that everybody knows I rarely make exceptions for, so naturally I'm thinking my grandmother or mother must be heading to the hospital again or there's been some other family tragedy. My heart started pounding! When I saw on the caller I.D. that it was him, I was so pissed. I didn't answer, obviously. He left a message and I returned his call the next morning and he acted all weird like why are you calling me? Fucker!!! I can't tell y'all how sick I am of this shit. Ugh. Basically, it was just a booty call. What made him think I was booty call material, I do not know. I don't present myself that way. I dress very conservatively and keep the conversation appropriate. I've been pondering, trying to figure out why he thought this.

Anyway, I've learned that you can tell how much a guy likes you by what time of the day and which day of the week he is willing to give to you and how much. If he's blowing you off or offering you the scrappy times, he's not really interested but is just keeping his options open just in case you may eventually give him pussy or talk to him when he's bored and doesn't want to be alone or whatever. I have no interest in being a back-burner woman. Men do seem to want to put me there though. I think I'm just looking for something deeper and more serious than most men are willing to work toward. I think I scare them.

Also, I repel men by saying the wrong thing. I know I've mentioned that disconnect between my brain and mouth before... it's still there. I try so hard to think about what I'm going to say before I say it and then it comes out nothing like I planned. *sigh* And sometimes because I'm just so determined to find my own happiness and live authentically, I end up doing things that seem insensitive.

Dwight Adams - Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood was the first song to play on my iTunes just now. How apropos.

You know, Dwight Adams never got enough love. Right now, in this moment, for me, this is the greatest song ever written. It resonates. I want to hear the other two renditions I have by Cyndi Lauper and Santa Esmeralda (from the Kill Bill Vol. 1 soundtrack), which isn't so random so they don't count. But I hope you listen to them anyway. :)

I'm trying to think of other highlights from my week to share... [redacted a few things I'd rather keep secret] Work was tough this week. I meditated twice as long and often as usual.

Look, a new ant hill popped up in my yard. They're just babies, obviously. Soon the hill will be huge and I won't be putting my bare foot anywhere near them. My foot is there to show you how small the hills are, by the way, not because I love that my big toe is crooked to the left just like my dad. :)

Today I'm going to Wilson to visit my mom and grandma. My brother Kevin's girlfriend is here visiting from Ohio so I'll get to know her a little better. She seems nice so far.

Here's the rest of the Random Six [here for one week]:

Electric Light Orchestra - Do Ya
Aretha Franklin - The House that Jack Built
Public Image Ltd. - Rise
Bill Withers - Take It All In and Check It All Out
Junior Wells - I Could Cry