Changes, Tumbling, Cravings, would love your input

First, I just read my last post and -WOW - I had all the energy of Droopy on pot. Sorry. I'm not a great writer to begin with, even less so when I'm both physically and mentally drained. And boy was I.

I have some news. I've mentioned a couple of times before that I have been toying with the idea of changing the focus of this blog to Tantra and Buddhist interests. The more I think about it, the more I know that is what I would like to do. I do not know how often I will post, but I do know it will not be about my life, except as it pertains to my Buddhist, Tantra and yoga studies. I'm very excited about this and I hope that you will walk with me on this journey.

My personal posts (updates, pictures, etc.) will all go on my Tumblr, which I have had for more than a year now. I've had a link to it on my Blogger profile for a long time so you may have found it already. If not, you can view and subscribe to the RSS feed even if you don't have a Tumblr account. If you do have an account there, please follow me and I will follow you back. Just be warned: I am a multi-faceted woman with red-hot blood pumping through my veins. Sometimes I post porn and sometimes I am quite bitchy. If you can handle that, I'll see you there.

Back to this blog here; I am so happy to finally feel motivated to post here again. I have been thinking a lot about craving (cause) and suffering (effect.) Being that this is the very foundation on which Buddhism is based, but also something that every human, regardless of faith, can relate to, I was thinking that this would be a great topic to discuss. I would love it if in the comments you could give an example of suffering you have experienced in your life as a result of cravings.

I'll go first. I have experienced a lot of pain as a result of wishing for certain men to love me in the same way I love them. This one I still struggle with, though I am getting better. I can see the door to total detachment from unrequited love right in front of my face, whereas in the past it was so distant, I could barely even fathom its existence. Another example: there was also a time in my life when I couldn't feel the love from my father. I was so angry with him for leaving me when I was a child. This anger lead to a desire (craving) for my father to realize the hurt he caused me. Not just that I wanted him to experience pain and remorse, I wanted him to express it in such a way that I felt it was genuine. It was never going to happen. His way of expressing himself is much different than mine, but at the time I was so wrapped up in that desire that it kept me from fully loving him and feeling the love he has for me. When I let that craving go, I saw something I hadn't noticed: he was there for me. He was trying to make it right. Oh great, now I'm all misty-eyed.

Your turn. I will create a post comprised of the comments I receive here. It would mean a lot to me if you would participate. Thank you. XOXOXO Namaste