Before I explain, here's some backstory:
The group home I currently work for is having serious financial problems. Four times now they have been unable to make payroll on time. So, naturally, I went and found another job (start date, 4/23.) But because I can't afford for my current job to give me the boot too early, I decided to wait until this coming Monday and only give them only a one-week notice. (I know, I feel terrible, but they haven't exactly had any of our backs lately either, they are probably going to close soon, and I have a family to feed.) I did at least let them know that I couldn't fill in for third shift one night a week anymore, since that is a much more difficult position to fill. Well, as luck would have it, they found someone else right away and I didn't have to work last night. YAY!
Instead of going home after my normal shift, I decided to let my family think I was still at work and sneak over to Tony's for a whole night of peace and quiet. I know, I know, but please don't judge me; I have been under a whole lot of stress lately with my grandmother's cancer and my mom's mental health issues and Thursday is the one day that my sister takes my grandma to her radiation in the morning (I do it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and not to mention all of her other doctor appointments and such) and I just wanted a break and plus I have my cellphone with me so it isn't like they can't get a hold of me.
Still think I'm terrible for being deceitful and wanting to run away for even one day from my responsibilities? Well, apparently the universe agrees with you because my payback is that I can't fucking leave my boyfriend's house right now.
For whatever reason, when he bought this house seventeen years ago, instead of installing new solid doors with single cylinder locks that you can turn from the inside and, you know, let yourself out of the house easily in case of a fire or other emergency, he thought it better to install double cylinder deadbolts on the windowed-doors that were currently here so some jerk couldn't break the glass and help themselves to his cache of tools and various crap (seriously, he has enough shit to supply five households. I've helped him take like ten computers and as many VCRs and DVDs to the Goodwill and there's more where that came from, but that's another story.)
I hate the double cylinder locks. First of all, they are illegal here in Ohio and I'm sure for good fucking reason. They weren't illegal when he installed them, but they are now.
Anyway, he was supposed to leave the deadbolt unlocked for me so I could leave this morning, but force of habit prevailed apparently because both doors are locked. If he has extra keys, I can't find them. I found 1,001 other keys that don't work though. And to make things extra fun, he left his cellphone on his nightstand so I can't even call him. I can't call him at work because he's a fabricator (doors) and works on location, plus I can't remember the name of the company he works for.
"Stay as looong as you want," he said as he kissed my cheeks this morning. Ahahahaha very funny, Tony!!!
Your predicament aside, no, we do not think that you are selfish, terrible, or even deceitful. When someone has as much on his or her plate as you do, he or she deserves a break. Don't feel guilty, don't apologize, and don't second-guess yourself - not that we are implying that you do. Rationalize, if you must, by telling yourself that an occasional break of this sort will better help you handle your responsibilities. It's true!
ReplyDeleteY'all are two of the sweetest, kindest people I have met on Blogger. Thank you for everything you said. My comments about being deceitful were mostly tongue-in-cheek, but part of me does feel guilty sometimes when I take time for myself. It's always nice to have someone remind you that you're entitled to a little Me Time. XOXOXO
DeleteI read this and my first thought was, does he have a basement with an empty well in it and a large supply of lotion. heh heh
ReplyDeleteHahaha Steve you always make me laugh. He does have a basement -- with a bathroom in it! -- no well though and no lotion supply.
Deletehii lisa..how r u my dear friend.sure all well..sending herewith tonnes of positive energy n good wishes from this side of the globe..keep smiling:)
ReplyDeletebeautifully penned
ReplyDelete