Thursday, July 4, 2013

"Would you rather I don't care at all?"

I had to fact-check a RWNJ family member this morning after she posted a full-of-shit Independence Day rant on FB (because it's "very patriotic" to say you're proud of your country but NOT your president on this July 4th, but suggested it be "grounds for treason" when people said the same thing about her beloved Dubya back in '08).

No, Em, parents are not required to keep their kids on their insurance until they are 26. You simply have the option to do so. Also, Obamacare is not forcing all pregnant women to have vaginal ultrasounds, nitwit. It is your can refuse to have an ultrasound if you wish, though that would be pretty negligent on your part. It is in fact anti-choice politicians, mostly male, mostly REPUBLICAN, who have decided that women seeking an abortion are required by law to have a vaginal ultrasound (and jump through numerous other hoops) before terminating their pregnancy. And blah blah blah blah blah....she bitched about too many other untruths about the Affordable Healthcare Act for me to list.

She ended her rant with "people, read up. Don't be a sheep!"

I agree, Em. People should educate themselves. That includes you. Try reading the actual healthcare act instead of WND, Breitbart, and Drudge. Tune your TV to a variety of news outlets, not just FOX!

Her response to my corrections? "Would you rather I don't care at all?"

Yes, actually, that would be preferable. Complacent people don't perpetuate and spread untruths.

I'm not saying willful ignorance in all forms isn't damaging. It is. Just saying that I'd rather people whose allegiance is to a political party rather than facts, who don't know the difference between truth and propaganda, keep their hypocritical mouths shut.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I still say fuck hair though!

One of the reasons I stopped working as a hair stylist was that I couldn't make enough money to support myself and my son. It takes time to build a clientele to support booth rental so I was stuck working crappy cheap salons with lots of walk-ins. (They pay minimum wage or commission, whichever is more. Sadly, minimum wage was almost always more.) People who go to the cheapest places rarely are willing to follow you to a nicer salon where they'll have to pay what you're actually worth so you're just kind of spinning your wheels in those places. (Plus it didn't help that I had cataracts and was losing my color vision rapidly along with my tolerance for screaming kids and women with unrealistic expectations (having Jennifer Aniston's hair won't make you look just like Jennifer Aniston, ladies; sorry!) but I digress). Basically, no one in North Carolina wanted to pay a decent price for my services and minimum wage when you have a child to support just isn't going to cut it and that was that. I kept my license up for a number of years and finally let it go because fuck hair and standing on your feet all day, I'll never do it again.

Today I visited a spa's website -- a friend (or actually the girlfriend of a friend's son) just became a licensed massage therapist and got her first real job there, which is awesome (yay Bethany!) I naturally had to peek at their hair prices though and holy fuck they are charging $70 for a basic hair cut and blow dry. 70FUCKINGDOLLARS!!! That means about a $10 to $15 tip per client (assuming people who pay $70 for a hair cut are the type of people who know to tip their stylist) plus $42 commission (assuming booth rental or the salon's cut equals about 40% of the stylist's gross take-in) -- basically $52 to $57 per haircut and style.

Holy cow.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

What do secure, emotionally stable women want?

Nevermind trying to figure out what the insecure, emotionally unstable woman wants. I've been that woman before and I can tell you that you will never know because they don't even know. Just do yourself a favor and give up now.

The secure, emotionally stable woman on the other hand, knows exactly what she wants. Specifics traits that are nice to have, like the same taste in music or whatever, differ with each individual woman, but there are some basic qualities that every sound, healthy woman wants from her mate.

A few examples (in no particular order):

  • The Truth. (We can handle it!)
  • Respect.
  • To be ourselves and be accepted just as we are.
  • Accountability.
  • Responsibility.
  • Ability and desire to commit.
  • Problem solving skills.
  • To be wanted.
  • To be heard.
  • To be supported, emotionally. If I want to go back to school, you should be happy for me and encourage me.

I lucked out when I met my husband, Tony. He does all of this. He *is* all of this -- and so much more. What I have now is worth every bad relationship I've every had, every tear I've ever shed, and the years spent alone just trying to find myself and figure it all out. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life! :-)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"Chemistry is between the ears."

"Just because you don't feel an instant 'click' with someone, doesn't mean you aren't compatible. Unless the guy's a rude, obnoxious jerk, give him three dates to see how you like him."

That was the best advice anyone has ever given me. I don't know what took me so long to get it, but I'm glad I finally did because I'm the happiest I've ever been and for the first time in my life, I feel truly, honestly loved by a man. I'm talking about my new husband, Tony, of course. We've been married one month and one day today.

I did not feel an instant attraction to Tony, nor did fireworks go off when he met me. (Though he did say that he thought I was very pretty... because he knew what was good for him, probably, Ha!) But we gave each other a chance and the most wonderful thing happened: we fell in love with each other's hearts, brains, integrity, and character.

So, basically, what I'm saying is that if you're alone and you're tired of being alone, give people a chance that you aren't immediately attracted to. You know all that "spark" is is just hormones telling you that you have a good chance of producing healthy offspring with the strongest chance for survival, right? Sparks aren't love. Lust isn't love. You don't love somebody just because they fit a certain physical mold you prefer. True love can only happen with trust, with respect, with knowing that your heart is safe with this person and all of this takes time.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Kundalini yoga for the overweight and obese

There *is* a need for such a class. People who don't have perfect bodies are not typically welcomed with open arms. If you don't believe me, visit your local yoga studio and tell me how many overweight people you find. If you do find a significantly overweight person, you won't have to look too much harder to find people making rude comments about them behind their back. Can you imagine the people who need yoga the most are the most neglected and shunned? It's a travesty. So I decided, being a curvy girl myself, I would become a yoga instructor and hold classes especially for people who would probably never think in a million years they could do yoga: the overweight, obese, and even morbidly obese. I had found a yoga studio that was open to my idea, providing I can teach traditional Hatha as well as Kundalini, which I agreed to. I was on my way to becoming fully certified when my grandmother's health really began to deteriorate and my mom entered the early stages of Alzheimer's and so I never finished. (I also put my Bachelor's Degree on hold. I can't do anything about the latter until this fall, which is seven months away, but that's a different story).

I just made the decision, just now, that I am going to finish what I started. I'm going to do it. I'm going to get my certification and I'm going to head the first class in the Dayton area that caters to the overweight and obese. I'll keep y'all posted!


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy new year

I know I haven't been around much. I haven't blogged and haven't been reading other blogs. It's not that I haven't had time, I just haven't felt like it. To be perfectly honest, I am just feeling overwhelmed by this rollercoaster of a life.

First of all, I am getting married this Friday to Tony, a man I love with all of my heart. He's the best. He's kind, funny, smart, and caring. He can also fix things. What kinds of things? Anything and everything that can possibly need fixing. I'm a feminist, but not so much so that I don't let myself feel like a girl, if that makes sense, and nothing makes me feel more like a girl than my man fixing my car! Or the ice machine on my refrigerator, or my washing machine, or my lamp, or just whatever breaks! But that's not why I'm marrying him. I'm marrying him because I never want to live my life without him. He's the first person I want to talk to about everything. When he is happy I want to share in his joy and when he's sad I want to cheer him up. When he is sick, I want to take care of him. I can't wait to see him every day. I just can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I am so so so happy!

I'm also very sad. My grandmother died this past November 23rd. She was on 24-hour home hospice care during her passing. Tony was with me when my mom woke me up at 4:30 in the morning to give me the news. Even though we were expecting it, I just kept hoping that she would get over the hump like she always had done and be with us just a little while longer. Yes, she annoyed the crud out of me sometimes -- and I do not feel bad or apologize for expressing that either -- but I love her with every fiber of my being. She was like a mom to me. She was the most important person in my life for as long as I can remember.

If I tried to choose my favorite memory of my grandma, it would be like going to a field of wild flowers and trying to choose the most beautiful one. I'll share the memory that just popped in to my head right now though:

When I was seven years old, the boys teased me at school that the reason my eyes are brown is because I was "full of poop." Even the boy I had a crush on (David Riggs -- I can't believe I remember his name after all these years lol) joined in. When he called me "poopy eyes," I was devastated. I sobbed the whole walk home that day. I was so sad, I walked right past the fig and orange trees and kumquat bushes that lined the neighborhood and usually provided my afternoon snack. When I got home, my grandma was there to greet me, all smiles and hugs, but I was inconsolable. She asked me what was wrong and through tears I said, "I hate my brown eyes. I wish I had blue eyes." "But grandma has brown eyes," she said. I looked at her eyes and, sure enough, they were just as dark as mine and at that moment everything was alright.

My dad had triple bypass surgery plus a stent a few months ago and so far so good. This was probably the scariest thing he, my step-mom, my sister Pamela and I have ever experienced. Ever. I couldn't go be with him because grandma's health was deteriorating and my mom is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and shouldn't be alone. I'm hoping to go visit him soon. I'm just so happy that he made it through the surgery and that he is finally doing all of the things his doctor has been telling him for years he needs to do: lose weight, lay off the booze, eat healthy, etc. etc. etc.

I found another cyst in my vagina but it turned out to be nothing. Scary, but still not as scary as almost losing my dad.

Tony's dad died from encephalitis while being treated for Alzheimer's. His immune system was just so weak and he picked up an infection during one of his numerous hospital visits. He passed less than two weeks before my grandma.

I'm just glad that Tony asked me to marry him before his dad and my grandma passed away; it made both of them so happy.

Me and my rambling. Anyway...

I just want to wish y'all a wonderful 2013 and let you know that even though I haven't been around much, you're in my heart. ♥♥♥